Thursday, July 9, 2009

Penciled in

I've compiled my temporary list of Yoda nominees. These are not set in stone as I may still read more films and I'll be keeping an eye on the boards for self-promotion.

Best New Producer
czartim

Phaethon

exavior

Supporting Actor
Nitro, Artistra

John C Reilly, Phil Scotto for President

Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje, Primal Force

Lucian, D&D

Omar Epps, Pest & Andy Go To Summer Camp

Supporting Actress
Allison Janney, Peaches and Cream

Cate Blanchett, Richard III

Drew Barrymore, White Wolf: Blood Feud

Mo’nique, YKMN

Abigail Breslin, Uncle Artie’s

Best Director
Werner Herzog, Artistra

Ang Lee, Peaches and Cream

Alfonso Curon, Batman: The Puzzle Factory

Steven Soderbergh, Print

Woody Allen, Beibo Suncloud

Best Journalist
Marlowe

Czartim

Lucian

Best Critic
Phaethon

Lucian

czartim

Best Soundtrack
YKMN

Secret Insurance Agent Man

B.A. MoFos

Amateurball

Print

Best Ad Campaign
The Kid 2: The Rise

Plants vs. Zombies

TCW Destructive Energy

Recoil

Phil Scotto for President

Best Site
Phil Scotto for President

Yet Another Conversation About Mark

Dungeons & Dragons: Trial By Combat

B.A. MoFos

Plants Vs. Zombies

Best Poster
Recoil

Secret Insurance Agent Man

Beibo Suncloud

Beyond Redemption

A Hitchhiker’s Labyrinth

Best Creative Company
Random

czartim

Phaethon

Best Actress
Beyonce Knowles, Peaches and Cream

Minka Kelly, Down and Under

Tilda Swinton, Richard III

Megan Fox, B.A. Mofos

Julia Styles, Print

Best Actor

Will Ferrell, Secret Insurance Agent Man

Richard Schiff, Print

Christian Slater, Colin’s Comet: Decent

Casey Affleck, Batman: The Puzzle Factory

Neil Patrick Harris, Phil Scotto for President

Best Cast
YKMN

Colin’s Comet: Decent

Richard III

Phil Scotto For President

Peaches and Cream

Best Cinematography
Dungeons & Dragons: Trial by Combat

Batman: The Puzzle Factory

B.A. Mofos

Collin’s Comet: Decent

White Wolf: Blood Feud

Best Adapted Screenplay
Dungeons & Dragons: Trial by Combat

Gridiron

Batman: The Puzzle Factory

Richard III

White Wolf: Blood Feud

Best Original Screenplay
Print

Peaches and Cream

Uncle Artie’s

Beyond Redemption

Beibo Suncloud

Best Producer

Pedro

Bryan Bishop

Lucian

Czartim

Goose

Best Short Film

Artistra

Peaches and Cream

Print

Dungeons & Dragons: Trial by Combat

YKMN



Best Picture
Peaches and Cream

Print

Batman: The Puzzle Factory

Beibo Suncloud

Uncle Artie’s True Tales of American History

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Awards Season is Nigh

This article is a blatant shill for awards. If that doesn't interest you come back later and maybe we'll have some more Mike Adamle news.

For Best New Producer, please consider exavior. While he only did one film he worked very hard to promote it and has proven an eager new player.

In the Supporting Actor
category please consider: ME! I cried and died in D&D for your entertainment.

In the Supporting Actress category please consider the following: Allison Janney, Peaches and Cream, Cate Blanchett, Richard III and Drew Barrymore, White Wolf: Blood Feud.

The sensitve direction of Ang Lee working on Peaches and Cream should be remembered when selecting Best Director.

I once again hope you'll consider me as Best Critic and Best Journalist.


Best Soundtrack? What better than the classic rock and more of Secret Insurance Agent Man? Plus one original song!

The Kid 2: The Rise saw an ad campaign with multiple posters and, even more, the first ever player run event at the Coliseum Hall as well as the first concert is HTG. If that doesn't rate consideration for Best Ad Campaign what does?

Best Site, though I had little to do with it myself, should go to Dungeons & Dragons. A site full of assorted pictures, cast photos and multiple Easter eggs!

Best Poster, Secret Insurance Agent Man was cool.

In the Best Actress category please consider both Beyonce Knowles (Peaches and Cream) and Minka Kelly (Down and Under) both in challenging roles that dealt with mature subject matter.

Think outside the box with Best Actor and nominate Will Ferrell for Secret Insurance Agent Man. Critics agree Ferrell made the movie a success.

Best Cast should rewards innovation. Like the all female version of Richard III.

Best Cinematography should go to a popcorn movie. Like Dungeons & Dragons: Trial by Combat

Best Adapted Screenplay why not Richard III. Or if you really like me, D&D.

Best Original Screenplay, sure it's short but Peaches and Cream gave us to interwoven tales, adult subject matter, great reviews and naked people!

Best Short Film Again you have to consider Peaches and Cream. Or D&D. Or White Wolf. Or Secret Insurance Agent Man. Heck just fill in my name as many times as you can!

Best Picture A long shot but again Peaches and Cream was really good. And it made a lot of money. And its a romance. Make it the new Titanic.

Best Producer

Peaches and Cream
Secret Insurance Agent Man (re-release)
Fear Itself (re-release)
Dungeons & Dragons: Trial By Combat
White Wolf: Blood Feud
TCW Destructive Energy

4 brand new films. 2 rereleased pieces. The biggest romance film of all time. One of the top 5 fantasies of all time. Another hit wrestling show. Even Bishop himself says this is my time. Please, consider me.

Thanks all.

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Numerologist Predicts Success For War Dogs

This Friday Pedro's new film, War Dogs, opens in theaters everywhere. And the cast has 31 members! Numerologist Destiny Chiles pointed out that this number is considered the "opposite" number to 13 in that its digits are transposed. While the number 13 is considered unlucky its opposite is considered a very lucky number indeed.

"We've already been very lucky on this film." remarked studio head Lucian, "The Baldwins involved paid for the entire cast and production costs. This is one of the largest casts in HTG and it was all free. And the expense of a war film? No cost to the studio. Plus reuniting Brad and Angelina in a film got us a ton of free advertising. Actually, now that I do the math, did we pay anything on this? I know RS made the poster. Did we pay him? I should probably look into that."

Ship of Fooles has declined to prescreen the film for critics. You'll have to wait to Friday to see this no-budget Big Budget film.

Saturday, June 27, 2009

Burns Returns to TV

He's considered a director. But in HTG he's better known as an actor. He is Ed Burns, star of Nowhere and The Crusaders. His only attempt at directing, where he also starred, was New York Christmas Carol, a critical and box office disaster.

Now Ed is returning to TV and joining the cast of the multi-Sully winning show The Policeman. Ed is set to play Earth's Policeman who works with THE Policeman on a major case involving religious extremism.

Burns is looking forward to the role. "Josh just won the Sully for Best Actor. That means I'll be competing against him in the same category next season. I'm going to do everything I can to steal every scene we're in together. I want that Sully!"

Also another big announcement. Bishop has planned the entire series to a conclusion with four more seasons to come. And Lucian has agreed to renew the series through its conclusion, one of the longest deals in the history of HTG. Expect lots more from The Policeman in seasons to come.

Best Producer Acceptance Speech

Wow. I honestly never thought the words "Best Producer" would ever be attached to my name. But here I am. And I have some people to thank. First off Mac The Movieguy. Mac founded Rogue Net with me and I could never have won this award if I hadn't been a Net Head. I have to backhandedly thank Alex Love. If he hadn't disappeared I wouldn't have written two episodes of both HTG: EW and Firestorm. I want to thank all the other producer of Muppet Tales who helped keep the show on the air long enough for my episode to air. And I want to thank PJ and Quantum for providing strong competition that keeps me doing my best with everything I write, just to keep up.

You may not know it but I'm at a bad place in my life. I'm unemployed. My depression is acting up. Simple tasks are often too much for me. But one thing that continually brightens my life is HTG. And this kind of recognition and support will hopefully inspire me to continue working hard at this. Who knows? Maybe I can make it my vocation.

Now, what would be really nice is a Best Producer Yoda to go with this. Who knows? Maybe this is my half-year.

Cat-Man Fever

After many long months of Flip Brothers Pizza and Club Siberia as the only places to hang out in town we have seen some new attractions spring up recently. One of these is Phaethon's Galactic Cat Laser Tag Arcade. Now I haven't played Laser Tag in years but at one point I owned a set of guns and sensors and my Dad and I would play.

The first thing that grabs your attention is all the cats. Not real cats for those with allergies but the entire place is cat themed, in fact it almost infringes on Laser Cats' copywrite. If you flat out hate cats, stay away. The gift shop has several cat themed items. I myself picked up a shirt. After putting it on I grabbed a token for the game (at the hefty price of 8 million dollars) and headed off to play.

I have to tell you it's an awesome experience. The play area is beautifully designed with plenty of choke points, blind alleys and multiple levels. I got on a team with some kickass celebrities including Kiefer Sutherland and Jean Claude Van Damme. I spotted Rue McClanahan on the other team and she looked as hapless as I did. But she also looked like she was having a blast!

No thanks to me, our team won the 20-minute game. We filed out and I was in the mood for food. No luck, just a couple of vending machines. So, while officially listed as a restaurant don't come here for a meal. For that Flip Pizza is still the best place in town.

As I was leaving the place a hobo accosted me. I figured, great another beggar, but this guy asked to see my receipt. When he noticed I had both bought an item and a game token he started ranting something about a special deal and a poster for free. Well, I thought, if I get a decent poster out of this it's worth the almost 13 million dollars I paid. And maybe Keifer or Jean Claude will be grateful for my "help" and work with me in the future.

It's important to note that both Phaethon's Galactic Cat Laser Tag Arcade and CzarTim's new club have not been added to the offfical data base as yet, despite now being on the map. So if you do buy anything from the new clubs be sure to make a note of it in case the deal gets lost in the shuffle. But I do recommend checking out the arcade for a fun time for all ages. Right Rue?

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Adamle Speaks

Mike Adamle released a written statement from his hospital bed in Seattle. It follows in its entirety.

"When I agreed to appear in TCW it was under the understanding that I was not a trained wrestler. As you should all know by now wrestling is a scripted program. In the script I agreed to Hawaiian Bryan was to choke me out with a cable and the show would end. However, Bryan decided to attempt a more dramatic ending. He dragged me to the announce desk and recklessly performed a move I have never been trained to take. As a result I have suffered a herniated disc in my neck which is affecting my ability to work.

I have spoken with Lucian Carter and he assures me he had no involvement in the change to the finish. He has also agreed to pay all my medical expenses during my recovery period. While I feel Mr. Carter should have more control over his employees, and that he should have cut the cameras before the stunt occurred, I have agreed to pursue no further action against TCW. I am in contact with my lawyer and the authorities about what I feel was criminal negligence on Bryan Bishop's part. I am excploring my options on that front.

I wish to thank the many fans, especially wrestling fans, who have sent me well wishes and messages of support. While I doubt I will ever be involved in professional wrestling I hope this controversy does not turn off fans of TCW. With Hawaiian Bryan out of the company I have nothing but respect for the remaining members of the roster."

Did Hawaiian Bryan really act off-script? Will we hear a statement from the mysterious island owner and Best Producer? Musing's is awaiting his comment.